Bill gates gets bitten on his middle finger. (Total Crap) :P

During his day-long visit to the state on Wednesday, Microsoft chief Bill Gates got a taste of rural India when he was bitten by a mouse on his left middle finger while he was taking rest at a circuit house here. This is the second incident of this kind within ten days, with Bihar Chief Minister Nitish Kumar having suffered and survived a mouse bite earlier.

“We are looking into the matter and it seems the same mouse has done it again. This seems a pre-planned conspiracy as this rogue mouse has been targeting VIP middle fingers.” Dharmesh Kumar, the local DM informed, who looked quite worried for his job and was shouting at his juniors to apprehend the finger-biting mouse as soon as possible.

Bihar Police has released a sketch of the suspect

State administration has not ruled out foul play and suspects the anti-social elements or political opponents of Nitish Kumar of having trained the mouse.

“We don’t rule out any possibility. Animals have been used to carry out anti-social activities even earlier with Taliban strapping bombs on donkeys. We are treating this matter as a serious breach of security.” state home secretary said, assuring the delegates with Bill Gates of full security for the rest of their stay.

State government is also planning to involve central agencies for the mouse-hunt as this incident could prompt US to issue travel advisory to its citizens against visiting India. UPA government is expected to cooperate as an unhappy Bill Gates could hamper development work in Rahul Gandhi’s constituency.

“This is a matter of national importance and Congress doesn’t play politics over such petty issues. We would extend full cooperation to the Nitish government. We could even send Black Cats to catch the mouse, if needed.” Congress spokesperson Manish Tiwari said.

But RJD supremo Lalu Prasad Yadav has squarely blamed the state government for the mess. He claimed that the mouse was acting on its own will and biting people to show its frustration with the state government’s policies.

“We are with the mice community in this struggle. These poor, downtrodden and secular (sic) animals have been on the receiving end ever since Nitish Kumar became CM and declared that rat-meat will be served in Bihar restaurants. These are no anti-social or anti-national elements, they are my vote-bank and they are protesting using democratic means, but this fascist government wants to crush all opposition.” Lalu Yadav extended whole hearted support to the fugitive mouse.

Amidst all these regional, national and international politics, state police is trying to hunt for the mouse with lathis and mousetraps. The mouse was nowhere near being apprehended when reports last came in.

Lol.

Hundreds of thousands fail to qualify for admissions into IITs.(Faking News! Lol).

When he got 61.23% marks in the CBSE class 12 exams, results of which were declared five days back, Neeraj could somehow escape the fury of his parents as he had told them about his healthy IIT JEE prospects. But this lull of five days might prove to be those before a storm as the 16-year-old discovered that he, along with more than 4 lakh others, had failed to qualify for IITs too after JEE results were announced earlier today.

“Honestly, I had my doubts. I had not performed so well in the Mathematics paper. But when board results were out, and stupid journalists were interviewing that fat guy in my neighborhood who had topped the district schools or some similar shit, I lied to my parents to placate their feelings.” said Neeraj from Jaipur, who has been in a Cyber Café since morning when he came to check the results and is not feeling like going back home.

Most of the 13,000 students who qualified could soon see their pictures printed somewhere or the other, ending up further irritating thousands others

Neeraj is joined by at least 4.4 lakh other students, who failed to qualify for admissions into 15 IITs, ISM Dhanbad and IT-BHU, many of whom are now concerned over their future and thinking of alternatives.

Tej Pratap, 16, from Patna is another such student, who straightaway decided to appear at JEE next year as soon as he came to know that he had failed, something he didn’t doubt. Tej had already planned to take JEE at least three times before settling for admission in any college of Delhi University for undergraduate studies.

But not everyone is clear in his thoughts and plans as Tej. The immediate concerns of most of the students were how to explain their performance to their parents.

“I wish some news channel raises the issue of mistakes in the IIT JEE 2010 papers once again.” said Farhan, who dreads facing his parents now without an explanation for his failure. “3 Idiots and Taare Zameen Par haven’t changed anything.” Farhan added, who wants to become a Guitarist.

“I simply don’t like to study. And I don’t have any hobbies too. No passion either for any activity. Is that so bad? Why can’t the world accept as I am?” wondered Bunty from New Delhi, another student who failed, who thinks IITs suck because their servers were down today after JEE results were announced.

Despite being such large in numbers, unfortunately the mainstream media focused on 13,000 odd students who had made it to the IITs, with special focus a bunch of guys who topped the list.

“Talk of minority appeasement. This one has continued unabated for ages now.” complained Ravi from Indore, another guy who couldn’t qualify for IIT JEE despite being among the best students in his school.

Hahahahahahahah :P